Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Houston, we have a squirter
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
