Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
