I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize