So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
