11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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