I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
