Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
