I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Randomize
