I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
