At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
