I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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