Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
