I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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