i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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