The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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