I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
