i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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