Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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