i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
