Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
