Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
