Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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