I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
