shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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