is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
