I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we made out on top of his cat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
