I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
