dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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