his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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