One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When did angry sex become our thing?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
