He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
