I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
