Got a toothbrush?
I wish I could teleport
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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