just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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