seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
