the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
