so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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