Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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