The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
