sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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