I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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