her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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