People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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