It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
