If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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