Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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