My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
