plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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