Your dad touched me again.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
