Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
