I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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