The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
