Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
