arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I touched a dick in church today
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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