It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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