with your own penis?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize