I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
