i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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