Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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