Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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